Natasha Trethewey’s book, Bellocq’s Ophelia, is full of so much pain and each poem shares a different story, some similar stories, some not. There is a deeper meaning of identity and escapism, one or both being reflected in each and every poem. The main character, Ophelia, seems to have no “real identity.” She is a different person for every occasion to appease the “audience” around her. She is not only a woman, but a woman of color and she is forced to turn to prostituion for a living. March 1991, is a poem that starts off about her childhood, in it she states, “Later, I took arsenic – tablets I swallowed/to keep me fair, bleached white as stone./Whiter still, I am a reversed silhouette/against the black backdrop where I pose, now.” She is forced to conform into something- someone, that will be accepted by society. She seems to dissociate during the photography process as a way to deal with it.
She really just wants to forget all of her trauma. She wants and pleads for acceptance, for being able to exist how she pleases. She has no sense of who she truly is anymore, just what everyone wants her to be – the person she conforms into for the sake of them, for the sake of being able to exist. It’s sad really and it reflects in the emotion and wording of each poem, all of the pain she holds and feels. She is invisible to those around her, they only see what they want, what benefits them. She is forced to mold into their perception, never truly getting to be who she is or learn more about herself.
More specifically, molding into the male gaze. Which takes such a toll on a person, especially her. She doesn’t get to be a poet, a writer, smart, a photographer – nothing but an object, an object to be photographed and subjected to others wants. This is the only way she can make a living, the only way she can exist. She thinks back to her childhood, she reflects on these memories and they cause her to stay still. She learns to be still and quiet. She says it’s her being a lady, she knows how to be a lady, though I think it’s another part of her losing her identity for the sake of others, being groomed and prepared for this part of her life.